Hah..haha...hey, it' supposed to be a cute pun!
Let me start by saying that not everyone can or will run together consistently. Lots of folks are more than content to run solo, and catch up at the end of the race, or the end of the run. That is not the Hare and I-- we went into this together, and we have actually discussed doing our runs separately to see how it goes. In the end, we came back to the agreement we came to our first steps out the door-- together, whatever that took.
Running with a partner is really a lot like the relationship itself. From the outside, people see a running couple out together, keeping the same pace, and they think "oh my, how nice-- they just click somehow and do that so well! It doesn't even look like they're trying!" However, everyone who has 1) ever run in their life or 2) ever been in a relationship in their life can imagine how doing both at the same time can be a tricky puzzle to work on!
I can say with certainty that running together is frowned upon by lots of runners for those tough reasons. I will be the first to admit that I have yelled, fussed, screamed and cussed (at the poor Hare) when it gets tough, or he goes ahead far enough that I don't feel I can catch up, or I'm just struggling and feel awful for "holding him back". We've both done that, and yet we always come back to that first time we talked about it-- we will do this together, because that's how we started, and it just doesn't feel right any other way (we've tried just to see!).
It can also be the most rewarding thing you ever do (like anything else that is tricky in life, right?). I can say with no hesitation that running with the Hare is single handedly one of the best things that's happened for our relationship (marriage aside of course!). It is a chance to catch up and be out doing something together, without the "what do you feel like doing?" back and forth, or any technology involved.
It's a chance to just be. Sometimes our runs are bad, but even the bad ones show us something that we need-- whether it's patience when one is struggling and the other wants to push faster, or compassion when one is working with an injury or frustration, and always, always compromise about pace. Running together is at the same time a nice escape to relax and think and enjoy your partner and some important lessons that are necessary for the rest of your lives as well.
That's the compromise! :)
There are just a couple of tips that I would recommend any running partners (but especially spouses/ significant others!) should think about.
- Always be supportive! This goes both ways-- don't yell (even if it gets really hard) or talk down to your partner, encouragement gets so much farther.
- Keep it playful. If you want to "race" a little on training runs, do so, but don't turn everything you do together into a competition (including organized races) or talk too much smack.
- Take cues from your partner! If you are chatty, and they are huffing and puffing to answer, then 1) ask if he/she'd like to slow down a bit, and 2) ask if they'd prefer to run in the quiet for a while. It's ok to ask "how are you doing?" every now and then, just to check in, and don't be afraid to speak up for something if you need it!
- Form a line! This one is small, but if you run on the road, please don't run 2 abreast if you can help it-- single file is much safer, and you can still be together and chat easily that way.
Above all, remember that you love this person, and respecting and keeping that in mind will make you that much closer in the long run (pun kind of intended!). So enjoy that time together, see it as a date almost if you can-- (no need for heels and makeup!) and appreciate what you and your partner are doing together, for yourselves and for one another. Happy running!
Do you run with your partner? What challenges have you faced? Do you have any tips for us? Let me know below!
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